Want to Stop Emotional Eating? These 3 Questions Are the Key
You know that impulse to dig for snacks in your pantry—even when you’re not actually hungry? 🍪🍿🍫🍩
That impulse isn’t random.
🧠 It’s a sign that your brain has learned to see food as the go-to fix for your unmet needs and desires.
Let’s break this down.
Throughout the day, your body is constantly sending you signals about what it wants…
🚶🏻♀️ That restless, jittery feeling in your legs after hours at your desk, nudging you to get up and stretch.
📱 The wave of frustration after a tense work meeting that has you itching to grab your phone and vent to your best friend.
🥱 The heavy eyelids and stifled yawns that are practically begging you to crawl into bed.
But as a smart, busy, high-achieving woman, there’s a good chance you’ve trained yourself to ignore these cues.
Because stopping to meet your needs?
Is not always convenient.
It can feel easier to power through, make sure everyone else is okay, and tend to yourself later.
The problem?
Your body doesn’t forget.
When its needs go unmet, they don’t disappear—they just get louder and more persistent.
And when your body gives up on getting what it actually wants, it asks for the next easiest, most reliable way to feel better: food.
Interrupting the Habit of Emotional Eating
After years—maybe even decades—of sidelining your needs, your brain has learned a simple equation:
👀 Feel a need or desire → 🍫 “Stuff it down” with food
The good news?
You can break this cycle by doing something radical:
✨ Actually giving yourself what you want in the moment. ✨
And it starts with one simple habit—regularly asking yourself these three questions:
1️⃣ How do I feel?
2️⃣ What do I want?
3️⃣ Where can I get that?
How to Use These Questions in Real Life
To make this a habit, set a reminder to ask yourself these questions at least three times a day—morning, afternoon, and after dinner. Or just anytime you feel “off.”
Here are some examples of what this can look like.
Example #1: The Evening Snack Attack
It’s 8 PM. You just finished dinner, but you feel antsy.
You start thinking about the snacks in your pantry, itching for something to soothe your discomfort.
Time for the questions:
1️⃣ How do I feel?
➡ Anxious about an upcoming medical test.
2️⃣ What do I want?
➡ To feel reassured that everything is going to be okay.
3️⃣ Where can I get that?
➡ By texting a friend who’s been through the same test for support.
Now, here’s the crucial part:
⚡️Take action right away and meet that desire.
This is where the rewiring starts to happen.
Because as your brain realizes your real needs are being met, it will stop creating that hankering for food in the first place.
Example #2: The Workday Hunger Crash
Let’s look at another example.
It’s 11 AM, and you’re immersed in work when your phone lights up with the reminder to ask yourself the 3 questions.
You stop what you’re doing and take a breath.
1️⃣ How do I feel?
➡ Low-energy and distracted. Hungry.
In the past, you might have pushed through the discomfort, waiting for a “better” time to eat. But now?
You simply go to the next question.
2️⃣ What do I want?
➡ A sandwich and a break from work.
3️⃣ Where can I get that?
➡ I can order one from the café downstairs.
Perfect. Go for it. No second-guessing.
Example #3: The Sunday Slump
It’s Sunday at 4 PM, and you’re feeling a bit empty, sad, and dreading the week ahead.
🍦You could try to smother this feeling with Häagen Dasz.
Or you could dig deeper:
1️⃣ How do I feel?
➡ Down. Not looking forward to work.
2️⃣ What do I want?
➡ Honestly? I don’t want to work this job anymore. I feel like I’m just going through the motions in this position, and it’s not leading me where I want to go. I want a change.
Whoa. Big one.
You see, some needs—like grabbing a sandwich or texting a friend—are easy to fulfill in the moment…
Others, like rethinking your entire career, take time.
But that doesn’t mean you ignore them.
In fact, these deeper needs and desires are the ones that most require our attention — and hold the biggest potential for our transformation.
So be patient with yourself as you ask the third question:
3️⃣ Where can I get that?
Most likely, you can’t just have a new job by tomorrow.
But you can take the next step that feels like progress towards one.
➡ I can talk to someone about how I feel. Someone who can help me process this big decision and reflect back my strengths and gifts, so I can start to brainstorm ways to move forward.
You make a note to bring up your desire with your spouse tonight.
Or set a reminder to email a trusted mentor, therapist, or coach tomorrow.
Again, this won’t solve everything overnight.
But it will give you the immense relief of moving forward towards what you want.
And as you keep moving forward, letting these 3 questions guide you might just change your life.
Let me show you in one final real-life example.
From Stress Eating to Her Dream Job (and Dream Partner): A True Client Transformation
One of my clients, let’s call her Anastasia, was struggling with mindless stress eating when we first started working together.
As she practised using these questions, she got good at digging into what she really wanted.
That’s when she realized something major.
What she really wanted… was to end things with her boyfriend. 😮💨
Anastasia had let her dissatisfaction with her life, especially with her relationship, simmer under the surface for months.
And the symptom of that had been a relentless feeling of emptiness that led her to autopilot snacking.
But now?
✅ She was committed to taking action and creating change.
Anastasia started taking the tender steps towards ending the relationship and venturing out on her own.
In the process, she found a beautiful new apartment and a new job with the better salary and benefits she wanted.
(Which fulfilled another desire she had for more security!)
But that’s not all…
😍 At her new job, she met an amazing new partner.
They’re so happy together.
Oh, and did she stop stress eating along the way?
Yes!
But that was the least exciting part of all of this for Anastasia.
🤩 Her whole life changed in a matter of months — romance, health, and wealth — all because she stopped stuffing down her needs and desires and chose to fulfill them.
Your Turn! Want Some Support?
If you’re struggling with emotional eating right now, building the habit of asking these three questions will change things for you. It’s inevitable.
But to be totally real with you?
The hardest part of this process is going to be giving yourself the space and permission to actually go after what you want.
And that’s where I can help.
Inside my private coaching program, The Delicious Life, I help women like you to break free from overeating and emotional eating permanently.
Not just by rewiring your eating habits—but by helping you figure out exactly how to fill the deeper gaps that led to those habits in the first place.
You won’t just become more satisfied and successful when it comes to food.
✨ You’ll become more satisfied and successful in your entire life.✨
So if that’s what you’re craving…
📲 DM me the word “delicious” on Instagram
💌 Or send me an email!
I’d love to chat about how I can help you get the results you desire. 🫶
